Pity Party First, Kick Ass Later

Sister, I know how it is because I've been there. The world is screaming "calm down" but you know that that's not an option. You want to scream, swear, stomp your feet, pout, binge watch netflix with your favorite comfort food, curl up in a ball, cry, and make the world revolve around your pain. Well guess what? You should. 

I am a firm believer that you must pity party first, and kick ass later. 

Ugly Self-Care is a THING! 

To some people, self care means putting on your favorite facial mask with a bath bomb. However to a lot of us, self care means ugly crying and screaming at the "master creator" for what they have done for you. I call this "ugly self-care" but in reality, it has the most beautiful results. Let me tell you why this works: 

• You cannot overcome a victim mindset without first thinking like a victim. 
• You cannot live a happy and productive life with pains and challenges clouding your brain. 
• It is okay to experience emotions; they are natural. 
• If you do not let yourself feel, your body and spirit takes on the burdens of the emotional body.

The Victim Mindset vs. The Hero Mindset

Be the hero in your story and overcome that victim mindset. 

A good story begins with a naive character, the challenge that they endure, and their heroic rise to overcome. A victim mindset is someone who is naive, faces a challenge, and lives in the realm of things like "why me" or "story of my life." They believe that unjust things will always happen to them; thus attracting more negativity into their life. To be a hero, we must first be the victim. Experience victimhood. Figure out your escape. Figure out the obstacles you have to overcome. Turn yourself into a survivor. 

Best Way To Move Clouds Is To First Storm

What happens when the sky is overcast? You pray for it to just rain, thunder, lightning- anything!!! to bring back your beautiful blue sky. Let your body cry it out, let your body scream it out, punch a pillow, do what you need to do to recover. If you keep those pent up emotions inside, your brain will suffer. The Director of the Psychiatry Research Lab at St. Paul-Ramsey Medical Center states, "People say they feel better after crying and our data shows this is so." Frey's studies have proven that crying is the body's natural response to any sort of stress, and that many feel comforted and relieved after letting it out. It has been shown that lack of tears can contribute to stress and brain disease down the road.

If you don't let it OUT, your body and aura take on the burdens of keeping it pent up inside

Built up anger, aggression, and stress lingers in the energy body and can cause migraines, tension, and inflammation. It can also contribute to poor gut health like indigestion and constipation. Not to mention your energy suffers greatly. Your aura will be clouded. People will come into contact with you less and less because your energy is no longer compelling. Friends may disappear or treat you differently. Your subtle body will suffer. 

Observe Your Emotions, Then Let Your Emotions Pass

There is a great meditation known as "Leaves on the Stream." In this exercise, you take every thought you have and place it on a leaf floating down the river. This allows you to observe that thought or emotion, and watch it pass. Learning this technique can help you in your day-to-day life by not beating yourself up for experiencing an emotion but also not holding on to that emotion. It helps you separate yourself from that emotion by extending an awareness, and also can help you detach from it to let it float away. Listen below. 

Set this as your phone background for a peaceful reminder whenever you check the time or texts. Leaves on a stream mindfulness exercise will help you observe and let go. 

It is human nature to feel, and dangerous to push our feelings aside. To delve into your emotional responses is the ultimate form of courage and strength. To let the tears pour out, the cries and screams be heard, to let yourself be in a state of darkness. Once you are submerged in the darkness you will be able to find your way to the light easier. If you harbor these emotions within you for too long, they will escalate and worsen. PLEASE allow yourself a pity party for whatever bad news you have experienced... and then conquer from there. 

When Does the Pity Party End? 

Deadlines are so important! This will help prevent you from letting your pity party spiral out of control into a prolonged state of depression and victimhood. Mine is anywhere from 1-3 days then you can begin faking it. You may not be completely healed, but you will feel a lot better. Over time, faking it can help you return to your normal self. It can help patch up the holes that were left open after such a big release of emotion. It can replenish your soul and counteract the difficult emotions that you just experienced. 

What is Your Ugly Self-Care / Pity Party Ritual? 

I LOVE to hear from my readers! Let me know what your go-to ugly self care routine is or how letting it out has helped you feel good enough to conquer your goals and kick ass! 

Empathy 101

Empathy 101

Written by Jessica Danforth

Let’s begin what does Empathy mean? It is defined as, “The capacity to share and understand others emotions and needs as if they were our own” (Dale, 2014). Empathy can be expressed in many different Empathic styles, and nearly anyone can cultivate or develop Empathy. You can experience Empathy through different manners such as Physical, Mental, Emotional, Natural, Spiritual or Shamanic styles that utilize this Empathic Spiritual Gift. A Spiritual Gift is an innate or natural psychic ability that you possess, and Empathy falls under this term. A quote from C. Joybell declares, “Our bodies have five senses: touch, smell, taste, sight, hearing. But not to be overlooked are the senses of our souls: intuition, peace, foresight, trust, empathy. The differences between people lie in their use of their senses” (Dale, 2014).  

Physical Empathy is described as, “The capacity for sensing another’s physicality in your own body” (Dale, 2014). Through Physical Empathy you absorb the physical energies present in the external environment. This might be through sensations like aches, jarring pains, taste or smelling aromas. Even though you may be connected to these vibrations the sensations can actually warn, impede, or alert you to be more careful, deter, or make aware of what could happen to you by empathetically feeling it from an external source. Those who experience Physical Empathy tend to take on the physical pains of those around them, and they may even feel the bodily symptoms or illness in their own body, and they might even know where exactly in the body it’s occurring. They can sometimes hold an object and experience strong sensations. One example of this could be if you hold a piece of antique jewelry that someone has worn frequently and, in doing so, you sense the physical pains and pleasures from the person that owned the jewelry, and you also become lightheaded or nauseas this is Physical Empathy in action.

Mental empathy is outlined as, “receiving information and data from the outside world and seeming to simply ‘know’ what someone else knows” (Dale, 2014). This is the gut feeling the inner knowing, hearing, and seeing. It’s the sense that tells you what to pay attention to, and basically the mind-body connection in action. There is a general understanding within your body, and those who encounter Mental Empathy often understand what is motivating someone, even if they don’t know or understand themselves. They might even find it difficult to explain to people how they might possibly know what they know. They are able to read between the lines and know what people are really thinking or saying, and it’s easy for them to get a sense of another person’s perspective even when they don’t know that person well. Mental Empathy is knowing exactly what information to pay attention to.

Emotional Empathy is expressed as, “feeling another’s feelings as if they were your own” (Dale, 2014). Indicating clear feeling, and clear sensing. This form of Empathy is communicated through feelings, stirring emotions and urges that make you want to help out. You know exactly what to pay attention to and what to do, and can usually tell what is wrong with someone even if they don’t speak about it.  Those that experience Emotional Empathy are more sensitive to the moods, and feelings of others and might feel a wave of strong emotions from time to time. These feeling represent its own meaning, and provides a set of instruction. For example, joy affirms, sadness encourages, anger suggest it’s time to set boundaries, fear means you think through an idea and prepare, guilt examines behaviors, and shame might imply feeling stuck. One example of Emotional Empathy in action might be when a random person approaches you and shares the deepest secret or feelings they have for no real reason whatsoever.

Natural Empathy is classified as, “Relating to nature-based forces and creatures” (Dale, 2014). Everything in nature gives off a vibration, and everything is alive with vibration, voice, scent, and sight. Natural Empathy understands the world is shimmering with life yet breathing life into us. Natural Empathy is identified as the happiest when in harmony with nature: earth, water, and the sky. They can often tell what animals are going through physically or emotionally. They also can tap into environmental sources of information including planetary shifts, weather patterns, emotions and needs of animals, and caring to herbs and plants are all used in Natural Empathy for healing purposes to predict weather or environmental situations before it occurs.  Natural Empathy for example can be seen through the symbolism of an animal or through the winds, sunbeams, and even rain. Each animal represents a different concept in reality and has a specific meaning, For instance if a you saw a crow the crow is labeled as bringing change, so if you were to dream about or maybe see a crow this might infer change is on the horizon.

Spiritual Empathy is termed as, “Intuitively feeling another person’s level of honesty or dishonesty” (Dale, 2014). Spiritual Empathy is like having a sensor that responds to any shift in moods, and can always tell when someone is lying or being dishonest. The body serves as the vessel to register the spiritual information, but there is no physical jarring like physical empathy, or emotional wash like emotional empathy, or even the mentalism like mental empathy. Spiritual Empathy might encounter feeling the presence of nonphysical beings, and spiritual messages can be received through meditation, contemplation meaning being in the presence, or praying to the divine to provide discernment. Spiritual Empathy consists of thinking that we are all here to fulfill a destiny and are here to help people figure out their purpose. A lack of ethics and integrity is something that will bother a Spiritual Empathic person more than anything.

Shamanic Empathy is specified as, “The Empathic style that includes all other styles as well as the ability to contact other dimensions and time periods” (Dale, 2014). Shamanic Empathy incorporates every sense of empathy Physical, Mental, Emotional, Natural, and Spiritual. Shamanic Empathy perceives spirit everywhere and in everything, and at times seem to be more aware of the nonphysical world, dimension, and beings than the physical world. They can tune into other dimensions, beings, times, places, and even space. Most feel like a stranger on this planet and feel hard to really tune into the world around, and most often feel overwhelmed by their own psychic sensitives to people, animals, objects, and even spirits. Shamanic Empathy possess a multidimensional awareness of others past lives, spiritual presence, and even knowledge about what might have occurred on a piece of land or in a house. They are those that always go through déjà vu about the pasts, and past lives. Those with Shamanic Empathy can do it all which is a blessing yet a curse at the same time.

Once again Empathy is characterized as feeling an external sources feelings and emotions as if it was your own whether it be through a Physical, Mental, Emotional, Natural, Spiritual or Shamanic scope. These Empathic gifts are psychic and energetic abilities that facilitate subtle body experiences of Empathy. Any person can improve their Empathic capabilities, and while others might believe Empathy is some sort of curse you can’t control, others find it as the most powerful blessing that a person can have. Those who experience Empathy feel that deep passion, and inner call to ease or feel for another person. As Sam Levenson wrote, “Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm. As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands: one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.”

Reference

Dale, C. (2014). The spiritual power of empathy: Develop your intuitive gifts for compassionate connection. Woodbury, MN: Llewellyn Publications.

About Jessica Danforth

Jessica is a student pursuing mental health therapy at Florida State University. Her understanding and mastering of her own empathic gifts help her relate to others and shed love and compassion in a way that others are receptive to. She is the perfect example of how empathy is less of a weakness and more of a gift that can bring unity. 

A note from And Zen Some: 

My favorite healing stone for empaths to use is Labradorite! Labradorite shields your aura against energies that drain you, repairs holes from any leakage, and boosts your energy back to a good place. It also allows you to share your compassion without feeling drained. Remember, empath, there is a REASON that people feel drawn to you. Help them - but use Labradorite to help yourself. You can read more about Labradorite by clicking HERE ! 

Why Amber Should Be Your Next GO-TO Crystal

One crystal I never shut up about is Amber... which actually isn't even a real crystal. Amber is fossilized tree resin, but it still gives off AMAZING energy and health benefits for all ages (babies too!)

I used to work at a crystal store and we carried Amber teething necklaces. You would be amazed at how many couples came back with their little ones to rave about how amazed they were at how the Amber really helped! The stories our staff would hear were amazing - like the crystals gave the little ones immediate relief. So awesome! 

Check out AmberAndHaze on Etsy!

If you are interested in buying an Amber teething necklace, PLEASE BE SURE to be cautious while shopping. The photo above is from a reputable seller with amazing reviews and genuine amber. Don't believe me? Read her reviews! You can shop from AmberAndHaze by clicking right here or the photo above.  

Checklist for Amber teething necklace shopping: 

• Is it safe? (Just because someone can string amber on elastic doesn't mean they should! knotted is the way to go with a safe clasp.)
• Is it from a reputable seller? (read the reviews, read their bio, get in contact with them!!!!) 
• Is it genuine amber? (acrylic and glass do not do the same thing, friends.)

I suffer from TMJ pain... well - not anymore I should add. I stopped experiencing the pain that comes along with grinding your teeth after I slept with Amber. Folks - I could have went with Amethyst, but that crystal can really mess with you dreams. I could have went with quartz - A "master healer" - but it keeps you awake. I could have went with any other crystal but I figured if Amber works for a baby's teeth, I'm sure it will work for mine. The next morning after trying this I had NO pain in my jaw! I do not sleep with the crystal anymore and haven't in two years and I have no issues with this anymore. 

Visit my shop or etsy page to find beautiful amber jewelry! Check out my instagram for more crystal tips

I do wear Amber almost every day as a necklace, around my waist, or as a ring. I have struggled with terrible sciatic pain and back pain and every time I wear Amber I notice significant difference. 

I wear this crystal during my moon cycle. WOMEN - This is one of the best healing stones for period cramps and pains that I have ever met in my life. Wearing it against your body during your moon cycle helps your feminine nature realign. Say goodbye to terrible PMS symptoms... This crystal has got your back!

Amber is amazing for the digestive system (find out more here!), reproductive system and fertility, endocrine system, physical pain, and so much more! It is also an amazing stone for enhancing creativity, joy, and personal power. This crystal identifies with the Solar Plexus and Sacral Chakras. 

Depression and anxiety are also treatable with the use of Amber. Check out this article on: Healing Depression with Crystals

I highly recommend checking out getting your own! 

A Letter to My Inner Child

Inner child,

The light inside of me that burns brighter than the fire inside of me; the blindfold that is innocence and the twinkle that is wonder,

Thank you for giving me these gifts. Thank you for letting me see trees not as trees, but as dancing stands of leaves. Thank you for letting me see oceans not as oceans, but a blanket of healing energy for the earth. Thank you for letting me see the clouds in the sky not as clouds in the sky, but as the cool breath of angels.

Inner child,

Please forgive me for not seeing my body as a home for more cells than stars in the sky, but as a body I can't love. Please forgive me for not seeing my mind as a flower that is filled with nutrients and grows when cared for, but as a brain. Please forgive me for not seeing my heart as a pumping vessel of blood that keeps me energized and keeps me vitalized and keeps me alive, but as an organ. Please forgive me for not seeing my soul as a light that has lived more lives than we have records of and traveled through many experiences and many journeys, but as a question with no answer.

Inner child,

May I forgive those who hurt me when I was a child and prevented you from growing with me. I do realize it is within my power to take control of my vision and my thought. I'm sorry for leaving you astray, as a constant yearning and aching within me that medication and venting could never fix.

I will nurture you. I will experience your joy. I will align with your eyes of wonder. I will believe in you the way you believe in me.

To healing each other.

An Upstate New Yorker's Guide To Crystal Shopping

If you're an Upstate New Yorker like me, you may have had some trouble finding the perfect spot to get your healing crystals. When I lived in the Catskills, I used to drive over an hour to shop for stones, so I understand the struggle - and yes it is real. I hope this guide can help you find the crystal shop of your dreams. 

Photo: The Dreaming Goddess

Tushita Heaven - Saratoga Springs

My favorite!!! I used to love going to this store and would reserve an entire day to browse. The crystals this store has have a unique, beautiful, light energy. I feel as though of all my crystals, the ones from Tushita Heaven have the strongest power. The only trouble I had with this store is the prices were a little high for what I was used to seeing. However, for the quality and the energy - it was well worth the price. From tumbled stones, to palm stones, to collector's pieces - they've got it all. I was also impressed by this store's book and oracle card selection. While you're shopping at Tushita Heaven, be sure to get a reading. They get some of the best psychics and tarot readers. Tushita Heaven is also my favorite place to buy gifts; they carry several home decor items that I have gifted to others that are still absolutely treasured by them. 

Photo From Tushita Heaven

 

The best place to park is in the free parking garage located just around the corner! Tushita Heaven is full of great finds. Be sure to keep your eyes peeled so you don't miss out on anything! My favorite crystal I have brought from this store is a Fenster Quartz that has the perfect enhydro. You can literally see the water droplet move. 

Photo Credit

The Magic Moon - Saratoga Springs

This shop is located at 15 Phila St., Saratoga Springs, New York 12866

Photo from Yelp

While you are shopping in Saratoga Springs, be sure to walk around the corner to visit The Magic Moon. One thing I love about this store is their friendly staff. It is so difficult to walk into a crystal shop and be left alone while you want to browse, as some people want to be the guru and even sometimes a security officer. However, when you have a question, the customer service is impeccable and the ladies here know their stuff!

This used to be a small crowded store, but they have expanded since I last visited. While you're there, check out the dressing room! The artwork on the walls was unforgettable, feminine, and expressive. This store is amazing for purchasing candles, clothes, and of course CRYSTALS! This shop opened in the 1970's, contributing to Saratoga Springs' amazing history. 

They have some beautiful pieces behind the counter, but many items around the store that you are free to touch. Photo from Yelp

This store fills every nook and cranny with their wide variety. They have everything for the hippie, the witch, and the spiritualist. I've bought many crystals, gifts, bumper stickers, candles, and oils from here. They also have some really cute clothes - perfect for festival season! 

Tannãre - Walton

Some of Tammy's beautiful furniture! Photo from Facebook

I am blessed to be friends with the owner of this eclectic boutique, Tammy - a loving goddess who is tough as a nail and still has the biggest heart. Her shop is full of artisan crafts from the gorgeous furniture she upcycles and custom signs she creates, to goods crafted by local artists. There are many talented people in our small county who don't get the recognition they deserve, and Tannãre offers them a chance to display their wonderful items. From everything to unique woodcarvings, to jewelry, to custom cards (I also have a few products in her store!). Tannãre is also a great place to fulfill your natural needs. The owner creates her own line of Full Moon Elixirs: natural goods including body scrubs, laundry detergents, and my favorite - the waxing and waning body whip. 

Tannãre frequently gives back to the community by composing beautiful gift baskets to be auctioned or raffled. She recently has begun offering "Creating Chaos" classes to give the community a chance to express themselves creatively by offering art projects that you can take home (and want to take home - step aside, paint & sip!!!) 

Obviously this store wouldn't be mentioned if it weren't for the crystals she offers! From amazing deals on her Himalayan Salt Lamps, to beautiful tumbled stones, to spells in a jar. She sometimes carries home decor for the bohemian soul; such as beautiful dreamcatchers or tapestries. 

Props to Tannãre for bringing a bit of light into our rural community! This shop is a true hidden gem (no pun intended!) 

Located at 150 Delaware St., Walton, NY 13856.

Shop Tannãre's amazing line of Full Moon Elixir products - sugar scrubs, himalayan salt scrubs, body whip, laundry soap, and so much more! Photo from Facebook.

A crystal shop in the catskills!? Photo from facebook.

The hidden gem of Delaware County, New York! Photo from facebook.

Crystal Connection - Wurtsboro

"The Church of a Thousand Crystals" 

Photo here. 

This shop has gotten some awesome attention lately from Insider's video that went viral. If you missed it, you can watch it below. If you plan on checking out this shop, be sure to make a day of it because there is just so much to see. I love Crystal Connection for providing knowledge and information to the public. They offer a ton of workshops and classes. Crystal Connection is also more than a store, it a place of healing and self knowledge. While you're here try a reiki session, a reading, or even aura photography to see what your aura looks like. This shop also offers psychic fairs! 

This beautiful shop has amazing prices on crystals and an immense selection. With all the hype of this store, they truly keep their prices affordable for all to enjoy the beauty and energy of the stones. This store is for the spiritual one, the one seeking enlightenment, the one possessing magic. However, if you are just learning stones - this is a great place to start. 

The location of Crystal Connection is 116 Sullivan St, Wurtsboro NY 12790. 

Must....touch....everything! Can you feel the energy from the picture? 

Photo here.

Nutz - Wappingers Falls

 

If you're more of a hippie than a goddess, I say go to Nutz! When I first pulled into the parking lot of this store, I did not believe that crystals were going to be inside! However, they have a huge selection of crystals, singing bowls, smudge sticks, deity figures, and oils - even among all the bongs and pipes (for tobacco, of course). They have a wide selection of incense and candles, tapestries, and everything else you could ever want out of a store. However, if you're like me and you want to touch the crystals before you buy, this may not be the shop for you. Most of their items are locked away. Feeling the energy of the stones is a huge part of the crystal shopping experience, so if you want to tap into that vibe, I would recommend a store that lets you do that instead. 

Photo from yelp. 

Dreaming Goddess - Poughkeepsie

The Dreaming Goddess is a shop like no others. From one twenty-something-year-old-free-spirit-love-and-light-believer-modern-flower-child to the next, this is the shop to go to!!! They have beautiful clothes (the kind we actually WANT to wear), they carry beautiful crystals, and they offer classes - another store that's not afraid to share their knowledge and light. This store combines the sacred culture behind esoteric practices with a modern twist. They tend to our current culture, but do not allow us to forget the beauty in ancient practices.

Give me ALL the Amethyst! Photo here. 

"We’re creating ceremony relevant to our time and to our culture, allowing these auspicious days to have deep meaning in our lives and in our connection to the Earth. "
- The Dreaming Goddess

Photo here. 

Sacred sprays, herbs, roots, resins, candles, oils, tumbled stones, raw crystals, exquisite specimens, jewelry, and pottery are just some of the wonderful products offered by this shop. This shop also recycles your old books! Great way to save the trees and spread the love! Another way this shop gives back is by helping build bridges for their customers and an array of charities. Pay it forward, get karma on your side, help one in need, and donate as you shop. 

A metaphysical boutique! A true beauty of a shop. Photo from yelp. 

Once again, boho babe, you've found the store for you. You've found the place to build connection with yourself, with like-minded souls, with the beauty of the earth, and with spirit. This is not just a crystal shop, this is a boutique for the modern goddess. 

Located 44 Raymond Ave, Poughkeepsie, NY 12603

Don't forget to head around the corner to the sanctuary. Info & photo here. 

Crystal Shops In Upstate New York

Central New York

• Earthbound Metaphysical Shoppe - Syracuse (Onondaga County)
• Mystic Side - Syracuse (Onondaga County)
• Healing Inspirations - Liverpool (Onondaga County)
• Sandalwood Stone - Marietta (Onondaga County)
• Fall Hill Bead and Gem - Little Falls (Herkimer County)
• Herkimer Diamond Mine & Gift Shop - Herkimer (Herkimer County)
• Sticks n Stones - Waterville (Oneida County)
• Multi-faceted Minerals - Ithaca (Tompkins County)
• Two Hawks Gallery - Homer (Cortland County)

Western New York

• Spirit & Crystal Connections - Rochester (Monroe County)
• Archimage - Rochester (Monroe County)
• Malachite & Gems Of Africa - Rochester (Monroe County)
• Mythic Treasures - Rochester (Monroe County)
• Crystal Cove - Lily Dale (Chautauqua County)

Southeast New York

• Moonstone Melody - Florida (Orange County)
• The Pointed Hat - Port Jervis (Orange County)
• Crystal Connection - Wurtsboro (Sullivan County)

Northern New York

• Crystal Caboose - West Chazy (Clinton County)
• Twin Crystal Rock Shop - Saranac Lake (Franklin/Essex County) 

Hudson Valley New York

• Mirabai - Woodstock (Ulster County)
• The Awareness Shop - New Paltz (Ulster County)
• Traders of the Lost Art - Kingston (Ulster County)
• Nutz - Wappingers Falls (Ulster County)
• The Dreaming Goddess - Poughkeepsie (Dutchess County)

Capital Region New York

• Crossroads Gallery - Schenectady (Schenectady County)
• Among Angels - Clifton Park (Saratoga County)
• Hippies, Witches & Gypsies - Troy (Rensselaer County)
• Tushita Heaven - Saratoga Springs (Saratoga County)
• The Magic Moon - Saratoga Springs (Saratoga County)

South Central New York

• Imagicka - Binghamton (Broome County)
• New York Southern Tier Geology Club's Gem Show - Check for dates
• Tannare - Walton (Delaware County)

Thank you for reading! Please keep in touch - let me know how your crystal shopping goes and which of these was your favorite.