Pity Party First, Kick Ass Later

Sister, I know how it is because I've been there. The world is screaming "calm down" but you know that that's not an option. You want to scream, swear, stomp your feet, pout, binge watch netflix with your favorite comfort food, curl up in a ball, cry, and make the world revolve around your pain. Well guess what? You should. 

I am a firm believer that you must pity party first, and kick ass later. 

Ugly Self-Care is a THING! 

To some people, self care means putting on your favorite facial mask with a bath bomb. However to a lot of us, self care means ugly crying and screaming at the "master creator" for what they have done for you. I call this "ugly self-care" but in reality, it has the most beautiful results. Let me tell you why this works: 

• You cannot overcome a victim mindset without first thinking like a victim. 
• You cannot live a happy and productive life with pains and challenges clouding your brain. 
• It is okay to experience emotions; they are natural. 
• If you do not let yourself feel, your body and spirit takes on the burdens of the emotional body.

The Victim Mindset vs. The Hero Mindset

Be the hero in your story and overcome that victim mindset. 

A good story begins with a naive character, the challenge that they endure, and their heroic rise to overcome. A victim mindset is someone who is naive, faces a challenge, and lives in the realm of things like "why me" or "story of my life." They believe that unjust things will always happen to them; thus attracting more negativity into their life. To be a hero, we must first be the victim. Experience victimhood. Figure out your escape. Figure out the obstacles you have to overcome. Turn yourself into a survivor. 

Best Way To Move Clouds Is To First Storm

What happens when the sky is overcast? You pray for it to just rain, thunder, lightning- anything!!! to bring back your beautiful blue sky. Let your body cry it out, let your body scream it out, punch a pillow, do what you need to do to recover. If you keep those pent up emotions inside, your brain will suffer. The Director of the Psychiatry Research Lab at St. Paul-Ramsey Medical Center states, "People say they feel better after crying and our data shows this is so." Frey's studies have proven that crying is the body's natural response to any sort of stress, and that many feel comforted and relieved after letting it out. It has been shown that lack of tears can contribute to stress and brain disease down the road.

If you don't let it OUT, your body and aura take on the burdens of keeping it pent up inside

Built up anger, aggression, and stress lingers in the energy body and can cause migraines, tension, and inflammation. It can also contribute to poor gut health like indigestion and constipation. Not to mention your energy suffers greatly. Your aura will be clouded. People will come into contact with you less and less because your energy is no longer compelling. Friends may disappear or treat you differently. Your subtle body will suffer. 

Observe Your Emotions, Then Let Your Emotions Pass

There is a great meditation known as "Leaves on the Stream." In this exercise, you take every thought you have and place it on a leaf floating down the river. This allows you to observe that thought or emotion, and watch it pass. Learning this technique can help you in your day-to-day life by not beating yourself up for experiencing an emotion but also not holding on to that emotion. It helps you separate yourself from that emotion by extending an awareness, and also can help you detach from it to let it float away. Listen below. 

Set this as your phone background for a peaceful reminder whenever you check the time or texts. Leaves on a stream mindfulness exercise will help you observe and let go. 

It is human nature to feel, and dangerous to push our feelings aside. To delve into your emotional responses is the ultimate form of courage and strength. To let the tears pour out, the cries and screams be heard, to let yourself be in a state of darkness. Once you are submerged in the darkness you will be able to find your way to the light easier. If you harbor these emotions within you for too long, they will escalate and worsen. PLEASE allow yourself a pity party for whatever bad news you have experienced... and then conquer from there. 

When Does the Pity Party End? 

Deadlines are so important! This will help prevent you from letting your pity party spiral out of control into a prolonged state of depression and victimhood. Mine is anywhere from 1-3 days then you can begin faking it. You may not be completely healed, but you will feel a lot better. Over time, faking it can help you return to your normal self. It can help patch up the holes that were left open after such a big release of emotion. It can replenish your soul and counteract the difficult emotions that you just experienced. 

What is Your Ugly Self-Care / Pity Party Ritual? 

I LOVE to hear from my readers! Let me know what your go-to ugly self care routine is or how letting it out has helped you feel good enough to conquer your goals and kick ass! 

Five Reasons To Meditate And How Crystals Can Help

Meditation can be an amazing tool once you understand how it works. After learning about its benefits, you'll wonder why you didn't start meditating sooner! I challenge you (no excuses!!!) to try to meditate for ten minutes each day. Bonus Points if you use a crystal! Suggested crystals are listed at the end. So here's why we meditate:

1. Changes Your Perspective of Time.

One of the biggest excuses I hear on why people don't meditate is that they don't have the time. To that I say - if you have time to lie restless in bed, binge watch netflix, or scroll mindlessly on your phone, you have time to meditate! Even if you are at work, you can take just five minutes to close your eyes and control your breathing. Even if you are in the car, you can focus on your breathing and clearing your mind. Once you are able to make the time for meditation, the false illusion of "time" you might have had before will begin to change. Suddenly you will find you are not rushing or in such a haste anymore. Meditation helps you focus on the present and live in the NOW!

2. Makes Small Problems Seem.... Small.

When I started meditating regularly, I found that little things began to bother me less and I wasn't angered so easily. Wouldn't it be nice to be a little bit happier - to not get such bad road rage, or to not get so annoyed by pesky people... When you learn to control your breathing and your thoughts, you are subconsciously training your brain to control itself - to not let thoughts get the best of you. It takes patience to meditate, right? So by teaching yourself to be patient with yourself and the process of meditation, you are ultimately becoming a more patient person. 

3. Calms That Monkey-Mind.

Monkey Mind is the fun name we tack onto out of control racing thoughts "what am I going to make for din- I forgot paper towels at the grocery store, I wonder what the weather is going to be tomor- I should probably do the laundry.." Sound familiar? Meditation is not learning how to completely shut off your thoughts but rather how to control them. It is completing one thought and bringing yourself back to a state of peace. By calming Monkey Mind, we really are able to get more done by focusing on one thing at a time and learning how to silence thoughts that are irrelevant in that moment. 

4. Regulates Energy Levels.

If you are a morning meditator, you will wake up, get your breathing and your mind on track, center yourself to a state of focus, and be ready to begin your day. If you are a bedtime breather, you will allow your body and mind to find stillness, alleviate any tension, and have a great night of sleep. If you are both - you rock!

5. Improves Physical Health.

Meditation is said to help lower blood pressure, improve the digestive system, regulate heart rate, dissipate pain, heal skin conditions, and more. How in the world does this happen? Because meditation reduces stress. Many of these ailments are side effects to stress. Once you find a way to reduce stress, you will find not only your mental and emotional health improving, but your physical health too. 

If you are finding you are having trouble meditating, you may want to pair this exercise with a crystal. Wearing these crystals during meditation can help deepen your meditative state by aligning their vibrations with yours. 

If you like what you're reading so far... you'll love learning about connecting with your spirit guides!

Reach a Calm Meditative State With Amethyst

Click The Amethyst to Purchase!

Look Within With Labradorite

Click the Labradorite to Purchase!

Divine Connection with Danburite

Click the Danburite to Purchase!

Silence Thoughts With Sapphire

Click the Sapphire to Purchase!

Now... Get into a relaxed position.... close your eyes... inhale while counting to four, exhale while counting to eight... Focus on nothing but the present moment, the energy within you, and the energy of love within your healing crystal.... And say with me - "Om Shanti, Shanti Om." (Peace for all beings and the universe as a whole!)

Comment with your favorite crystal to meditate with. 

How to Relax Using Crystals

After a long day, in the middle of a difficult day, before you go to sleep, or before you start your day, it is an excellent idea to put aside ten-twenty minutes to heal your nerves and ease your mind. Whether it's stress, migraines, a racing heartbeat, or worried thoughts - there are crystals that can help you overcome what you are feeling. When you lose your relaxed state, you lose your control. When you lose your control, you give up your power and strength to ego. Sometimes it's hard not to lose your control and your peace of mind. To reenter the state of relaxation and control, however, is easy. 

For Headaches: 

I was able to heal my migraines with this Lapis Lazuli stone. Amazing!

Amethyst, Sodalite, and Lapis Lazuli are my favorite crystals to use for headaches and migraines. There are two quick ways to relieve headaches using one of these three crystals. If you are able to lie down for ten minutes, simply lay comfortably with your arms flat to your sides. Place the crystal of your choice on your forehead (or on your third eye chakra) or hold it in your hands. Close your eyes and take deep breaths - in through your nose, out through your mouth. Your focus should remain on your breathing and on the warm, vibrating energy of the crystal's contact with your skin. Inhale positive energy, exhale negativity. Inhale peace, exhale stress and worry. Inhale serenity, exhale pain. If you are unable to lie down, simply sit with straight posture and do the same. 

For Grounding: 

Source: http://www.yogajournal.com/pose/mountain-pose/

When the feeling that you are losing all control strikes, you are in dire need of grounding. Some other symptoms include feeling tired or drained, overstimulated and jittery, feeling floaty, misplacing things or being clumsy, feeling like you are stuck in an out of body experience, or not being able to keep track of important things or conversations. Some excellent crystals to use to solve this problem are Smokey Quartz, Black Tourmaline, or Kyanite. Feeling like you are not grounded comes from your root and earth star chakras. Your root chakra is located at the base of your spine and your earth star chakras are located at your feet. The best way to ground yourself and gain back your control is to stand barefoot - especially outside in the grass if you are able to - and hold the smokey quartz in your hand. The way you should be standing is known as "Tadasana" for yogi's. This pose is powerful to practice because it is a helpful way to regain power within itself. You stand tall with your feet apart and arms next to you with your palms facing outward. Wear or hold the crystal you are using. This will center you spiritually and ground you with the Earth. If you are unable to go outside or stand, you can sit upright with your feet touching the floor and take deep breaths holding the crystal you are using. Imagine what is below you - the floor, the grass, the dirt, the earth, all the way deep down to Earth's oldest layers. Now picture the energy from those oldest layers all the way up sending life and vitality all the way up from your toes, through your body, and beaming out of your crown chakra into the sky and then to the galaxy. You are one with the Earth. You are safe. Everything you need is provided for you. 

For Frustration: 

Labradorite (left) and Lepidolite (right) are great crystals for restoring inner peace. The colorful sheen Labradorite offers is enough to distract your mind from all frustration. 

Frustration can be painful - when everything around you is not going as you wish it would. This type of feeling can be caused by people, work, life at home, etc. Some great crystals to use for this are labradorite, moonstone, and lepidolite. Labradorite and Moonstone are especially good for when people bring you down. These are two crystals that protect against energy vampires and will raise you to your higher consciousness - allowing only light and wisdom in and out. Lepidolite is better for stressful situations you may be faced with because it eases transitions. All three of these crystals are excellent stress relievers. The best way to use them is to sit or lie down holding them in your hand. Breathe deeply. Think of what is stressing you out. Channel this into the crystal you are holding and allow the crystal to channel it's energies into you. Remind yourself that other people and events are beyond your control and you should not allow those types of things to frustrate you. Affirm that everything has a way of working itself out. Allow the light of the piece of Earth you are holding to wash away your worries and restore you with the positive, calm energy you need. 

For Worry and Panic: 

Here I hold two Uruguayan Amethysts. The deep purple crystals put me in such a trance. 

Blue Calcite, Carnelian, Amethyst, Rose Quartz, Blue Lace Agate, and Aquamarine are the best crystals to use to relax during this kind of trouble. Worry and panic originate in the mind, and can easily be fixed by a change in thought. However, it is very difficult to retrieve thoughts once they slip into the egoic realm of negativity. After the mind is dominated by negativity, other parts of the body can very easily be altered and brought into a terrible state. Blue Calcite can specifically be used to relax the mind and the heart rate. Carnelian is best used to calm scattered thoughts or brain chatter that is not benefiting you and to keep your mind focused on proper action that needs to be taken. Amethyst and Rose Quartz can be used to relieve the mind of negative, worried thoughts and bring your heart and spirit back to a peaceful state. Blue Lace Agate and Aquamarine can be used to relax the mind and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. When you realize you are beginning to worry and panic, and it is too late to create a positive reality for yourself - try this technique. 

No matter where you are or what you are doing, hold one of the crystals listed above in your hand and focus on it. For this kind of problem, it is not necessary to be seated, lying down, or standing - though it may help to physically be relaxed. Close your eyes and bring your attention to the crystal in your hands. Breathe in and out deeply as you feel the crystal vibrate in your hands. Feel the warmth of the crystal spread through your hands. Let the energy of the crystal wipe away any worry in you heart or in your mind. Remind yourself that you are safe, happy, and healthy. 

Pocket Full of Crystals

These are the stones I like to carry with me. Sometimes I switch it up, but I often find myself with these six. Even though I am not wearing them or showing off their beauty, I feel good knowing they are always with me. Whether it's in my pocket, my purse, or my pillow - these stones are there to protect, help, and heal me. 

The stone of love.  

I carry the Rose Quartz because of how happy it makes me feel. Every time I hold this stone it makes me feel so at peace with everything. It takes all my worries away and directs my attention to the wonder that lives inside. I carry it because it means something to me. It makes me feel loved and reminds me I am loved. It was a gift to me from Vero at The Bodhi Tree in Sugarloaf, NY; the place I did my first custom show. This crystal shop is more like a spiritual getaway and Vero is a warm, gentle person who is lovely to be around. I carry the Rose Quartz because it makes me feel safe, like nobody can or will bring me down. I feel like my heart is protected, so I am able to see the best in everybody and give my love to them. 

My stone of protection.  

I carry the Black Tourmaline for protection. I feel it protects me spiritually and emotionally. It relieves me of any panic, worry, and fear. It helps ground me spiritually so I am not fatigued or drained. I carry it because it is one of my favorite stones. It was a gift from my mom who is also my best friend. She knows me better than anyone. I know she spent so much time picking out crystals for me when she went to Puerto Rico. I couldn't wrap or sell any because of how much I loved them all. We are always on the same wavelength. She has always been my main protector, but if she is ever not with me - the protecting properties of black tourmaline are. 

Why wouldn't you carry one of these?  

I carry the citrine because of the properties. I have never had any special memory with this citrine or any citrine - but I love what it is meant to bring. It is a stone of abundance, of prosperity, and of luck. It is a manifestation stone for ideals, dreams, and goals. It is a stone of joy, bringing optimism and positive thoughts. It dissolves any negative energy, protects against negative energy, and holds no negative energy. It is a stone of control. It fills the Solar Plexus Chakra with power, anxiety relief, and trust. It clears any blocks and let's you beam with yellow light. 

Can feel my happiest moments when I look at this stone.  

I carry the Smoky Quartz because it is another great protection stone. I especially love that it is protective during travel. I bought this in the summer of 2014 - a summer of adventure! I drove to Delaware for a music festival (Firefly!!) filled with late nights and laughter, Tennessee to stay on a house boat for a week for full relaxation and fun, New Jersey to visit my cousin for a crazy night at a rap concert (Eminem), Connecticut for an awesome concert (Queen!) and such a fun night, and more. It was nonstop travel and adventure. Smokey Quartz protects against road rage, harm from other drivers, and traffic or road issues. I carry it for safety - and for all the memories of such good times. 

Knowledge speaks, wisdom listens. 

I carry the Lapis Lazuli and the Blue Kyanite for communication. One to help me listen and one to help me speak. One to dissolve the negative thoughts and one to bring in wise, intelligent ones. One to help me see past what people say, and one to help me think before I speak. Communication is important to control. It is how we meet people, make friends, network, or serve. It is an aspect of my daily life and with the help of my lapis lazuli and blue kyanite I feel protected and confident doing so.