The Key To Happiness: Surrendering to Life

I didn't create a happier life by sitting back and waiting for things to get better. I surrendered to the bad, thanked the universe for the bad, and said, "bring it on!" The following anecdote helps me visualize happiness when times get tough. Use it to help you see how to achieve freedom and happiness.

Have you ever noticed what it feels like to be a passenger in the car on a route you normally take? All of the sudden you start noticing things you've missed before, like a beautiful patch of wildflowers or an abandoned farm, a quirky name for a road or a beautiful sunset. 

When you are the driver you miss these things because you are attached to your destination, staying in between the lines, making the trip in good time, stopping when you need to stop, going when you need to go, and turning when you need to turn. 

When you begin to live life as if you are the driver, you become so focused on the destination that you lose sight in the thrill of adventure. You might ignore the things around you that make you smile, and all the things that make your journey worth it. 

When you choose to live life as a passenger, you begin to see the world around you in a different way. Trust that there is a driver to your destination and you will get to where you need to be no matter what. You no longer feel the need to control the car or to worry about the time in which you arrive. You no longer feel the need to stay in the lines or worry about proper directions. Now you begin to see the things in your world that are there to make you smile - that may have been there all along.

This is called surrender. It is the key to happiness. 

Surrender can also mean letting go completely of the destination. 

I once read about a fun date idea: to get in the car and flip a coin. If its heads, you turn right. If its tails, you turn left. Imagine living your life this way and letting go of any attachment to an outcome or a destination and you just went with the flow. The world is full of possibilities. Of back roads and dirt roads and highways and crossroads and bike trails and oceans for you to cross. Don't worry about the destination, just trust you will get there. 

Trying to control your life will bring you nothing but stress, anger, and discontent. You will never feel like you are complete if you are always trying to control the universe, the people around you, and your path. Your moment is bigger than you. The world is bigger than you. Life is bigger than you. Let yourself feel the peace that comes with surrender. Take a big sigh and put it in the hands of your driver.  

You will find greater joy in the happy things in your world, if you trust that there is a force that will take care of your goals. Whatever divine force you believe in, whether it is the Universe or God or a Guardian Angel...who/whatever. Trust that they have a plan. Every body is born with a purpose and with that purpose comes a path. The hard times are meant to put you there. Those hard times will later develop into something amazing. Every transformation starts with a fire or an end. As for the good times - begin to enjoy them. Trust that its okay to put your work down or let go of something and have fun, relax, or take a breath of fresh air. 

[Enjoying this article so far? Check out THIS ONE for related advice!]  Click this link to learn how to Release Attachments

The art of surrender requires not only a great deal of trust, but of learning to accept that every single moment is fleeting. The famous quote: "This too shall pass." Has as much to do with the good days as it does the bad days. Every bad moment will pass, of course it will. However, you must accept that your good will soon fade away. So embrace it while it is at your reach. Trust that everything you are worried about is taken care of and go after what makes you happy. Chase the things that make you smile. They will soon pass. Surrender to this fact. So many people get worked up over their good times not lasting or find themselves saying "oh great - another bump in the road." But you must know that another good time will soon come. Surrender to these bad times, and it will be much easier to enjoy the great times while they are there. 

So... how do you let go of control & surrender? 

There are many ways to help you surrender. If you have ever been told that you are "too tense" or need to "just relax"... then you're not only a lot like me, but you might have trouble coping with the bad times and figuring out HOW to surrender. My best advice for this is to literally train your brain. With every bad time, think of a silver lining. Say thank you to the universe whenever you feel like your life is out of control. Learn to appreciate the bad moments in life because you will never be stressed. You can also train your brain by accepting a negative outcome and thinking of backup plans. Have a list of things you may want to be or do in life. Go down the list and picture a fulfilling life with each one of those things. Maybe in one life you are happily married with kids, but in another you are a CEO of 6 companies and a beautiful home, and in another you are an online blogger traveling the world. Keep your goals, keep your dreams, but accept yourself through all the alternatives. And of course, visualize there is a driver taking you to where you need to be! 

My Favorite Crystals for Letting Go: 

Ammolite

Helps free you from expectation and the past

View Pendant

Variscite

Relieves any worries, fears, or doubts.

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Larimar

Go with the flow & the changing tides of life.

View Pendant

How to Relax Using Crystals

After a long day, in the middle of a difficult day, before you go to sleep, or before you start your day, it is an excellent idea to put aside ten-twenty minutes to heal your nerves and ease your mind. Whether it's stress, migraines, a racing heartbeat, or worried thoughts - there are crystals that can help you overcome what you are feeling. When you lose your relaxed state, you lose your control. When you lose your control, you give up your power and strength to ego. Sometimes it's hard not to lose your control and your peace of mind. To reenter the state of relaxation and control, however, is easy. 

For Headaches: 

I was able to heal my migraines with this Lapis Lazuli stone. Amazing!

Amethyst, Sodalite, and Lapis Lazuli are my favorite crystals to use for headaches and migraines. There are two quick ways to relieve headaches using one of these three crystals. If you are able to lie down for ten minutes, simply lay comfortably with your arms flat to your sides. Place the crystal of your choice on your forehead (or on your third eye chakra) or hold it in your hands. Close your eyes and take deep breaths - in through your nose, out through your mouth. Your focus should remain on your breathing and on the warm, vibrating energy of the crystal's contact with your skin. Inhale positive energy, exhale negativity. Inhale peace, exhale stress and worry. Inhale serenity, exhale pain. If you are unable to lie down, simply sit with straight posture and do the same. 

For Grounding: 

Source: http://www.yogajournal.com/pose/mountain-pose/

When the feeling that you are losing all control strikes, you are in dire need of grounding. Some other symptoms include feeling tired or drained, overstimulated and jittery, feeling floaty, misplacing things or being clumsy, feeling like you are stuck in an out of body experience, or not being able to keep track of important things or conversations. Some excellent crystals to use to solve this problem are Smokey Quartz, Black Tourmaline, or Kyanite. Feeling like you are not grounded comes from your root and earth star chakras. Your root chakra is located at the base of your spine and your earth star chakras are located at your feet. The best way to ground yourself and gain back your control is to stand barefoot - especially outside in the grass if you are able to - and hold the smokey quartz in your hand. The way you should be standing is known as "Tadasana" for yogi's. This pose is powerful to practice because it is a helpful way to regain power within itself. You stand tall with your feet apart and arms next to you with your palms facing outward. Wear or hold the crystal you are using. This will center you spiritually and ground you with the Earth. If you are unable to go outside or stand, you can sit upright with your feet touching the floor and take deep breaths holding the crystal you are using. Imagine what is below you - the floor, the grass, the dirt, the earth, all the way deep down to Earth's oldest layers. Now picture the energy from those oldest layers all the way up sending life and vitality all the way up from your toes, through your body, and beaming out of your crown chakra into the sky and then to the galaxy. You are one with the Earth. You are safe. Everything you need is provided for you. 

For Frustration: 

Labradorite (left) and Lepidolite (right) are great crystals for restoring inner peace. The colorful sheen Labradorite offers is enough to distract your mind from all frustration. 

Frustration can be painful - when everything around you is not going as you wish it would. This type of feeling can be caused by people, work, life at home, etc. Some great crystals to use for this are labradorite, moonstone, and lepidolite. Labradorite and Moonstone are especially good for when people bring you down. These are two crystals that protect against energy vampires and will raise you to your higher consciousness - allowing only light and wisdom in and out. Lepidolite is better for stressful situations you may be faced with because it eases transitions. All three of these crystals are excellent stress relievers. The best way to use them is to sit or lie down holding them in your hand. Breathe deeply. Think of what is stressing you out. Channel this into the crystal you are holding and allow the crystal to channel it's energies into you. Remind yourself that other people and events are beyond your control and you should not allow those types of things to frustrate you. Affirm that everything has a way of working itself out. Allow the light of the piece of Earth you are holding to wash away your worries and restore you with the positive, calm energy you need. 

For Worry and Panic: 

Here I hold two Uruguayan Amethysts. The deep purple crystals put me in such a trance. 

Blue Calcite, Carnelian, Amethyst, Rose Quartz, Blue Lace Agate, and Aquamarine are the best crystals to use to relax during this kind of trouble. Worry and panic originate in the mind, and can easily be fixed by a change in thought. However, it is very difficult to retrieve thoughts once they slip into the egoic realm of negativity. After the mind is dominated by negativity, other parts of the body can very easily be altered and brought into a terrible state. Blue Calcite can specifically be used to relax the mind and the heart rate. Carnelian is best used to calm scattered thoughts or brain chatter that is not benefiting you and to keep your mind focused on proper action that needs to be taken. Amethyst and Rose Quartz can be used to relieve the mind of negative, worried thoughts and bring your heart and spirit back to a peaceful state. Blue Lace Agate and Aquamarine can be used to relax the mind and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. When you realize you are beginning to worry and panic, and it is too late to create a positive reality for yourself - try this technique. 

No matter where you are or what you are doing, hold one of the crystals listed above in your hand and focus on it. For this kind of problem, it is not necessary to be seated, lying down, or standing - though it may help to physically be relaxed. Close your eyes and bring your attention to the crystal in your hands. Breathe in and out deeply as you feel the crystal vibrate in your hands. Feel the warmth of the crystal spread through your hands. Let the energy of the crystal wipe away any worry in you heart or in your mind. Remind yourself that you are safe, happy, and healthy.