Crystals for Coping With Death

1. Rose Quartz

The main feeling associated with the death of a loved one is grief. Everybody grieves at their own rate and in their own way. Rose Quartz is a great crystal for relieving the feelings of grief, guilt, and trauma. The great thing about this crystal is it works so gently and is so supportive. A customer of mine once wore a Rose Quartz pendant during her own grieving process and texted me to say, "I think the Rose Quartz is really working!" When you receive the uplifting energy of Rose Quartz, it is not something you feel, but something you recognize. You don't feel happier, you don't feel calmer, but you notice something is missing - sadness, loneliness, and blame. Rose Quartz helps us shed and release all the negative emotions we may be facing, and restore our heart with feelings of joy and hope. To use this crystal, I would make sure it is with you through your entire grieving process. Investing in a necklace, ring, or pocket stone would be the best choice. Outbursts of emotions can hit at anytime during the grieving process. Rose Quartz is there to support the heart when it is in need and also fights against these "bursts". 

Rose Quartz can especially be supportive if the loss was for a mother, grandmother, or significant female role (or nurturing role) in your life. It is also known as "the mothering crystal" because of it's nurturing properties. This crystal can ease your pain, restore your happiness, and help you care for yourself just as a mother would. 

2. Lepidolite

Death can be one of the hardest transitions in our life that we face. Suddenly someone that was once a part of your life is no longer there. It may make some feel empty, some feel depressed, and some might also hold on to the idea that the person is still there. These are all common coping responses; however, the most important thing to do in the situation is let go. Lepidolite is perhaps one of the best crystals for easing transitions. We don't often think of the death of a loved one as a transition, but it surely is. This crystal will help one go through the transition of grief and also in the bigger scheme of things, it will help one understand the transition of the physical plane to the spiritual plane. It carries strong lithium levels for balance, so the feelings of anger, sadness, or anxiety will not surface as strongly. It also helps one accept tough situations as they come. If you think Lepidolite will help you, I recommend holding the crystal anytime you feel upset. Keep it in your pocket, wear it, or carry it in your purse. Spend as much time with this crystal as you can. Lepidolite can also be great if you or someone you know is facing the dying process. It may change the way you open up to and accept the idea that death is just another term for moving on to the next plane. 

3. Apache Tears

Native legend tells a haunting story of the Apache Tear (below). Reading the legend may help you understand the Apache Tear and its properties. This specific stone has been used all throughout history for the grieving process. It helps prevent further drain and damage from the aura. Whenever you are feeling heavy feelings of grief, hold an Apache Tear into the light and be reminded of the story below. 

“ The haunting legend about the Apache Tear is about the Pinal Apaches, who had made several raids on a settlement in Arizona. The military and some volunteers trailed the tracks of the stolen cattle and waited for dawn to attack the Apaches. The Apaches, confident in the safety of their location, were completely surprised and out-numbered in the attack. Nearly 50 of the band of 75 Apaches were killed in the first volley of shots. The rest of the tribe retreated to the cliff’s edge and chose death by leaping over the edge rather than die at the hands of the white men. For years afterward those who ventured up the treacherous face of Big Pacacho in Arizona found skeletons, or could see the bleached bones wedged in the crevices of the side of the cliff.

The Apache Women and the lovers of those who had died gathered a short distance from the base of the cliff where the sands were white, and for a moon they wept for their dead. They mourned greatly, for they realized that not only had their 75 brave Apache warriors died, but with them had died the great fighting spirit of the Pinal Apaches. Their sadness was so great, and their burden of sorrow so sincere that the Great Father imbedded into black stones the tears of the Apache Women who mourned their dead. These black obsidian stones, when held to the light, reveal the translucent tear of the Apache.”

— http://www.crystalsrocksandgems.com/Healing_Crystals/ApacheTears.html

4. Selenite 

Some people are calmer during the grieving process and don't need help easing their emotions. For empaths, those who are more sensitive, and those who don't have a lot of experience with death, it may be harder to understand what is going on. The crystal I recommend for EVERYONE after someone has passed is a Selenite. This crystal is not for the emotional aspects of coping, but rather builds a connection spiritually that will remain. Selenite protects against negative energies and cleanses an area. After someone passes, this is very important to use because you are now thought of in a different plane. Selenite is also important to use after death because it connects us to the angelic realm - this includes angelic communication, guidance, etc. This crystal may help you connect to the one you lost in a bright and beautiful way. Sleep with this crystal or meditate with it if you would like to connect with the one you lost. 

How to Relax Using Crystals

After a long day, in the middle of a difficult day, before you go to sleep, or before you start your day, it is an excellent idea to put aside ten-twenty minutes to heal your nerves and ease your mind. Whether it's stress, migraines, a racing heartbeat, or worried thoughts - there are crystals that can help you overcome what you are feeling. When you lose your relaxed state, you lose your control. When you lose your control, you give up your power and strength to ego. Sometimes it's hard not to lose your control and your peace of mind. To reenter the state of relaxation and control, however, is easy. 

For Headaches: 

I was able to heal my migraines with this Lapis Lazuli stone. Amazing!

Amethyst, Sodalite, and Lapis Lazuli are my favorite crystals to use for headaches and migraines. There are two quick ways to relieve headaches using one of these three crystals. If you are able to lie down for ten minutes, simply lay comfortably with your arms flat to your sides. Place the crystal of your choice on your forehead (or on your third eye chakra) or hold it in your hands. Close your eyes and take deep breaths - in through your nose, out through your mouth. Your focus should remain on your breathing and on the warm, vibrating energy of the crystal's contact with your skin. Inhale positive energy, exhale negativity. Inhale peace, exhale stress and worry. Inhale serenity, exhale pain. If you are unable to lie down, simply sit with straight posture and do the same. 

For Grounding: 

Source: http://www.yogajournal.com/pose/mountain-pose/

When the feeling that you are losing all control strikes, you are in dire need of grounding. Some other symptoms include feeling tired or drained, overstimulated and jittery, feeling floaty, misplacing things or being clumsy, feeling like you are stuck in an out of body experience, or not being able to keep track of important things or conversations. Some excellent crystals to use to solve this problem are Smokey Quartz, Black Tourmaline, or Kyanite. Feeling like you are not grounded comes from your root and earth star chakras. Your root chakra is located at the base of your spine and your earth star chakras are located at your feet. The best way to ground yourself and gain back your control is to stand barefoot - especially outside in the grass if you are able to - and hold the smokey quartz in your hand. The way you should be standing is known as "Tadasana" for yogi's. This pose is powerful to practice because it is a helpful way to regain power within itself. You stand tall with your feet apart and arms next to you with your palms facing outward. Wear or hold the crystal you are using. This will center you spiritually and ground you with the Earth. If you are unable to go outside or stand, you can sit upright with your feet touching the floor and take deep breaths holding the crystal you are using. Imagine what is below you - the floor, the grass, the dirt, the earth, all the way deep down to Earth's oldest layers. Now picture the energy from those oldest layers all the way up sending life and vitality all the way up from your toes, through your body, and beaming out of your crown chakra into the sky and then to the galaxy. You are one with the Earth. You are safe. Everything you need is provided for you. 

For Frustration: 

Labradorite (left) and Lepidolite (right) are great crystals for restoring inner peace. The colorful sheen Labradorite offers is enough to distract your mind from all frustration. 

Frustration can be painful - when everything around you is not going as you wish it would. This type of feeling can be caused by people, work, life at home, etc. Some great crystals to use for this are labradorite, moonstone, and lepidolite. Labradorite and Moonstone are especially good for when people bring you down. These are two crystals that protect against energy vampires and will raise you to your higher consciousness - allowing only light and wisdom in and out. Lepidolite is better for stressful situations you may be faced with because it eases transitions. All three of these crystals are excellent stress relievers. The best way to use them is to sit or lie down holding them in your hand. Breathe deeply. Think of what is stressing you out. Channel this into the crystal you are holding and allow the crystal to channel it's energies into you. Remind yourself that other people and events are beyond your control and you should not allow those types of things to frustrate you. Affirm that everything has a way of working itself out. Allow the light of the piece of Earth you are holding to wash away your worries and restore you with the positive, calm energy you need. 

For Worry and Panic: 

Here I hold two Uruguayan Amethysts. The deep purple crystals put me in such a trance. 

Blue Calcite, Carnelian, Amethyst, Rose Quartz, Blue Lace Agate, and Aquamarine are the best crystals to use to relax during this kind of trouble. Worry and panic originate in the mind, and can easily be fixed by a change in thought. However, it is very difficult to retrieve thoughts once they slip into the egoic realm of negativity. After the mind is dominated by negativity, other parts of the body can very easily be altered and brought into a terrible state. Blue Calcite can specifically be used to relax the mind and the heart rate. Carnelian is best used to calm scattered thoughts or brain chatter that is not benefiting you and to keep your mind focused on proper action that needs to be taken. Amethyst and Rose Quartz can be used to relieve the mind of negative, worried thoughts and bring your heart and spirit back to a peaceful state. Blue Lace Agate and Aquamarine can be used to relax the mind and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. When you realize you are beginning to worry and panic, and it is too late to create a positive reality for yourself - try this technique. 

No matter where you are or what you are doing, hold one of the crystals listed above in your hand and focus on it. For this kind of problem, it is not necessary to be seated, lying down, or standing - though it may help to physically be relaxed. Close your eyes and bring your attention to the crystal in your hands. Breathe in and out deeply as you feel the crystal vibrate in your hands. Feel the warmth of the crystal spread through your hands. Let the energy of the crystal wipe away any worry in you heart or in your mind. Remind yourself that you are safe, happy, and healthy.